A time
comes in your life when you finally get…when, in the midst of all your fears
and insanity, you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice inside your
head cries out…ENOUGH! Enough fighting and crying and blaming and struggling to
hold on. Then, like a child quieting down after a tantrum, you blink back your
tears and begin to look at the world through new eyes.
This is your awakening.
You realize it’s time to
stop hoping and waiting for something to change, or for happiness, safety and
security to magically appear over the next horizon.
You
realize that in the real world there aren’t always fairy tale endings, and that
any guarantee of “happily ever after” must begin with you…and in the process a
sense of serenity is born of acceptance.
You
awaken to the fact that you are not perfect and that not everyone will always
love, appreciate or approve of who or what you are…and that’s OK. They
are entitled to their own views and opinions.
You learn
the importance of loving and championing yourself…and in the process a sense of
new found confidence is born of self-approval.
Your stop complaining and
blaming other people for the things they did to you – or didn’t do for you –
and you learn that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected.
You learn
that people don’t always say what they mean or mean what they say and that not
everyone will always be there for you and everything isn’t always about you.
So, you
learn to stand on your own and to take care of yourself…and in the process a
sense of safety and security is born of self-reliance.
You stop
judging and pointing fingers and you begin to accept people as they are and to
overlook their shortcomings and human frailties…and in the process a sense of
peace and contentment is born of forgiveness.
You learn
to open up to new worlds and different points of view. You begin reassessing
and redefining who you are and what you really stand for.
You learn
the difference between wanting and needing and you begin to discard the
doctrines and values you’ve outgrown, or should never have bought into to begin
with.
You learn
that there is power and glory in creating and contributing and you stop
maneuvering through life merely as a “consumer” looking for you next fix.
You learn that principles
such as honesty and integrity are not the outdated ideals of a bygone era, but
the mortar that holds together the foundation upon which you must build a life.
You learn that you don’t
know everything, it’s not you job to save the world and that you can’t teach a
pig to sing. You learn the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry
and that martyrs get burned at the stake.
Then you
learn about love. You learn to look at relationships as they
really are and not as you would have them be. You learn that alone does not
mean lonely.
You stop trying to control
people, situations and outcomes. You learn to distinguish between guilt and
responsibility and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to say NO.
You also stop working so
hard at putting your feelings aside, smoothing things over and ignoring your needs.
You learn
that your body really is your temple. You begin to care for it and treat it
with respect. You begin to eat a balanced diet, drinking more water, and take
more time to exercise.
You learn
that being tired fuels doubt, fear, and uncertainty and so you take more time
to rest. And, just food fuels the body, laughter fuels our soul. So
you take more time to laugh and to play.
You learn that, for the
most part, you get in life what you deserve, and that much of life truly is a
self-fulfilling prophecy.
You learn that anything
worth achieving is worth working for and that wishing for something to happen
is different than working toward making it happen.
More importantly, you
learn that in order to achieve success you need direction, discipline and perseverance.
You learn that no one can do it all alone, and that it’s OK to risk asking for
help.
You learn the only thing
you must truly fear is fear itself. You learn to step right into and through
your fears because you know that whatever happens you can handle it and to give
in to fear is to give away the right to live life on your own terms.
You learn to fight for
your life and not to squander it living under a cloud of impending doom.
You learn
that life isn’t always fair, you don’t always get what you think you deserve
and that sometimes bad things happen to unsuspecting, good people…and you lean
not to always take it personally.
You learn
that nobody’s punishing you and everything isn’t always somebody’s fault. It’s
just life happening. You learn to admit when you are wrong and to build bridges
instead of walls.
You lean
that negative feelings such as anger, envy and resentment must be understood
and redirected or they will suffocate the life out of you and poison the
universe that surrounds you.
You learn to be thankful
and to take comfort in many of the simple things we take for granted, things
that millions of people upon the earth can only dream about: a full
refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed, a long hot shower.
Then, you
begin to take responsibility for yourself by yourself and you make yourself a
promise to never betray yourself and to never, ever settle for less than you
heart’s desire.
You make it a point to
keep smiling, to keep trusting, and to stay open to every wonderful possibility.
You hang
a wind chime outside your window so you can listen to the wind.
Finally,
with courage in you heart, you take a stand, you take a deep breath, and you
begin to design the life you want to live as best as you can.
The Awakening, by Sonny Carroll
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